In the last blog, we looked at the first aspect of the female breadwinner penalty. We saw that many reports claim there is a slightly lower probability of contentment for people in a female breadwinner household.
The next aspect of the female breadwinner penalty is a little more objective. Female breadwinner marriages have a higher probability of divorce.
About 10 years ago, U.S. Census and related data estimated that when the wife earns more than the husband there is a 50% higher likelihood of divorce. [1]
A more recent look at U.S. statistics showed that younger generations don’t see nearly this much of a female breadwinner penalty. However, all the charts still show that the likelihood of divorce is the greatest right around the place where a woman begins to make more than her husband. [2]
I found a 2011 report a bit inflammatory: “We noted the asymmetric nature of gender change such that, despite increases in women’s employment, there is little toleration for men not remaining employed breadwinners. A deviation from this norm appears to make either partner more likely to leave.” [3]
“Men’s breadwinning is still so culturally mandated that when it is absent, both men and women are more likely to find that the marital partnership does not deserve to continue.” [3] Ouch! No wonder my husband and I both felt such uncomfortable pressure when he lost his career.
Studies also show that when a wife out-earns her husband, he is more likely to cheat. In fact, about 15% of the men in a study by the American Sociological Review who were completely financially dependent on their wives had affairs. That’s three times higher than high-earning wives, who had the lowest cheating rates of any population. According to the report, about 9% of women in the study had affairs, but among wives who earned a higher paycheck, only 5% cheated. [2]
Another study reported that the U.S. couples with breadwinning wives are 50% more likely to divorce.[4]
“Sociologists found that couples married in the 60s and 70s were 70% more likely to get divorced if the wife was the breadwinner. It looks like society is starting to change because the same research found couples married in the 90s had only a 4% higher divorce rate if the women earned more.” [5]
With that information, I thought that perhaps this female breadwinner penalty only existed in older populations or more conservative ones. Then I read a French study that showed otherwise.
Cohabitation is much more popular than marriage in France, so much so that the government created a status called PAC that is a state-sponsored alternative for unmarried couples to receive some of the rights and benefits of marriage. The study looked at couples that co-habitated, couples in PACs, and married couples. Because the society strongly supports independent working women, the authors of the study were surprised when they finished analyzing their results. Even in the PAC and cohabitation relationships, there was a higher rate of dissolution of the relationship as the women started to make more than their male partners. The difference was even more significant in married couples.
On a similar note, a couple studies I found indicated that when the wife became the primary breadwinner, the probability of man’s infidelity increased by as much as 300%.
Maybe there is such a thing as a female breadwinner penalty after all!
Enough with all the bad news.
How does it fit in with my story?
After my husband lost his job, he received only part-time positions. The first couple years we both struggled with changing roles and realities and neither of us liked the new status quo.
Mike and I did not divorce, but for a while we were both miserable. Our relationship disintegrated to the point that there was almost no joy in our relationship. We both tried to be kind to each other, but more often than not we were like two alley cats on a wall, each one anticipating that something bad was going to happen any second.
Once we got over the hump (thank you, Jesus), I realized how threatening this situation could be to a marriage. I wanted to come alongside other women walking this lonely path, so decided to write, Love Beyond Labels-When Finances Flip. I interviewed several other women who survived finance flips in their marriages, and became even more convinced that this book could offer hope and encouragement other people going through unwanted changes.
In the next blog I’ll introduce the cover of the book and an ancient Japanese art form.
[1] Bertrand, M., Pan, J., & Kamenica, E. (2013). Gender identity and relative income within households (No. w19023; p. w19023). National Bureau of Economic Research. https://doi.org/10.3386/w19023
[2] Francis, S., CFP®, CDFA®, & Features, C. last updated in. (2021, August 18). Wives who make more than their husbands should take note. Kiplinger.com. https://www.kiplinger.com/personal-finance/603298/women-who-make-more-than-their-husbands-should-watch-out
[3] Sayer, L. C., England, P., Allison, P. D., & Kangas, N. (2011). She left, he left: How employment and satisfaction affect women’s and men’s decisions to leave marriages. American Journal of Sociology, 116(6), 1982–2018. https://doi.org/10.1086/658173
[4] Gonalons-Pons, P., & Gangl, M. (2021). Marriage and masculinity: Male-breadwinner culture, unemployment, and separation risk in 29 countries. American Sociological Review, 86(3), 465–502. https://doi.org/10.1177/00031224211012442
[5] Why are more women now making more than their husbands and why is that leading to fewer divorces? (2023, May 16). Khou.Com. https://www.khou.com/article/money/women-making-more-than-husbands-divorce/285-f3694c1f-418b-4855-8979-51b94e5209b7
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