March 1, 2020
How do the pieces fit together? Can I begin when I don’t know what it will look like in the end?
Ever find yourself in one of those places where you feel kinda lost? Not the awful, world-crashing-around lost, just a place where the answer to almost every question is “I don’t know.”
“Where do you want to go eat?”
“I don’t know.”
“Where is that USB cable you borrowed?”
“I don’t know.”
I hear my inner self trying to break through the fog. “What am I going to do about this recent weight gain?” “I don’t know.”
Or I’m driving home in rush hour traffic and realize I have three unscheduled hours this evening. “What do I want to do this evening? Play a game? Write? Clean house?” “I don’t know.”
As a Christian, I believe the Bible speaks beautiful, solid words of truth. The Hebrew word “yada” has often been used in memes involving Hebrew or Jewish topics, but that’s because the Bible uses it about 947 times in the Old Testament…and it means…you guessed it…”to know.” In the New Testament, there are also many verses that talk about knowing and having confidence. One commentary claimed more than 1000 occurrences of other similar words that are translated to things like “certain,” “assured,” and “sure.”
This week I started a new Bible study with ladies from my church. Priscilla Shirer’s “Discerning the Voice of God” encourages us to know that God is communicating and wants us to know and recognize His voice. I think it’s pretty interesting that Priscilla’s certainty contradicts my wavering reality at this time. It’s not that I’m doubting God in my mind, but the wobble in my will and emotions show I’m not living it out.
All that to say, I’m excited that I’m heading over to my son and daughter-in-love’s house this weekend to work. They’ve initiated a huge project and have called Mom and Dad for some manual labor assistance. We spent most of last weekend there…and I’m really looking forward to returning today. When I’m helping, I feel like I’m doing what I was designed to do. I know I want to help. I know I can be useful. I long for that kind of certainty in so many other areas of my life.
For quite a few years, the overcrowding of my schedule left me with precious few choices on how to spend my time. I’m praying that in this new season I discern God’s voice and make better choices with my time than I have the last few months. I think part of this is that God’s been inviting me to spend more quiet time with Him, but I am so used to activity that I feel guilty about it, like it’s too indulgent. So I choose to get on the computer to look something up or get a touch on Christian authors and suddenly an hour disappears as I follow Facebook feeds and Twitter tweets.
Part of my insecurity is that God’s allowed me to be in a place where I’m not sure where He would have me serve. Is it here, writing at my computer? Is it reconnecting with friends who I’ve let slip away? Is it serving in a new ministry?
I know I want to please God, but I can’t see many measurable fruits. Yet God calls me to Himself much more than He calls me to a task.
“And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (Colossians 3:17 NIV)
The Bible states that God’s pleasure often revolves around us appropriately receiving His gifts, not just when I offer Him gifts.
- Giving us the kingdom brings Him pleasure. (Luke 12:32)
- Being thankful, doing good, and sharing pleases God. (Hebrews 13:15-16)
- God will work in me to help me be pleasing in His sight. (Hebrews 13:21)
- He calls us beloved simply because we are His children. (Romans 8:16-17)
Today I think God wants to remind me, and maybe you, that even for people who like to plan ahead, living in the moment is a good gift He offers. I think He’s encouraging me to take advantage of these opportunities and appreciate them as gifts. If it’s housework, recognize I’m a steward of God’s property and He’s pleased I’m taking good care of my home. If it’s a quiet evening because social plans got canceled, I can have fun spending extra time with God through prayer and Bible study and taking the time to listen. If it’s deciding what to eat for dinner, I can enjoy the adventure rather than stressing over making a perfect decision and losing my appetite in the process. This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it.
- Photo by Hans-Peter Gauster on Unsplash
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