August 6, 2021
At a recent high school reunion, my middle school typing teacher dropped in unexpectedly, so I shared a memory with her. In 7th grade, my father told me if I became the best typist in class, he would give me a gift. I accepted the challenge, and at the end of the semester, he presented me with a sterling silver charm for my charm bracelet.
But as I wandered down memory lane, I realized I cherish that charm because my Dad knew how to motivate me, not because it showcased my typing skills.
My Dad believed in me. He made it a habit to encourage and challenge me because he always saw me as a diamond in the rough. There’s a word that describes when someone earnestly tries to urge or advise another: exhortation.
Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them … the one who exhorts, in his exhortation. (Romans 12:6-8 ESV)
Parakaleo
In many Biblical passages, exhortation is translated from forms of the Greek word parakaleo. Para means to come along beside. Kaleo denotes urging or calling. This powerful word combination denotes being called to someone’s side to make an appeal.
Exhortation
Exhorters play many roles. They might try to calm down an anxious friend or provide guidance to a confused family member. Sometimes exhorters gently call out a loved one who is not acting according to Biblical principles. I like the following quote from Fritz Chery:
Exhorters motivate you to apply biblical Scriptures to your life. Exhorters are eager to help you grow in the Lord. Though exhorters can correct you, they are not overly critical. When you’re going through trials, you are going to want to talk to an exhorter. They allow you to see trials in a positive light. They remind you of God’s love and His sovereignty.[i]
My Dad exhorted me regularly. He bought me my first Bible and encouraged me to write in it. He knew when I was hiding from the truth and made me face reality. He never accepted my excuses and constantly pushed me out of my comfort zone. He shared his wisdom with me and challenged me to think for myself. His confidence in me encouraged me to overcome challenges that otherwise might have overwhelmed me.
Exhortation Fosters Hope
When I felt hopeless, his parakaleo gave me hope as a child. I would never have removed the training wheels off my bike, but my Dad told me, “I know you can do it,” then removed them for me.
My earthly father is no longer with me, but my heavenly Father is my Exhorter today. He uses His Word to encourage me daily and give me hope for the future.
For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures, we might have hope. (Romans 15:4 ESV)
Exhortation Comforts
I find it fascinating that words very similar to parakaleo are translated as “comfort” in passages like the following:
Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4 ESV)
When someone helps us see the truth, it is often comforting. The trials may be difficult, but the truths of God’s Word sustain us. Beautiful truths that sustain me include these: God’s love will never fail. We are precious in His sight. We have a heavenly home already prepared for us. God is willing to provide wisdom. We are never alone.
Sage on the Stage or Guide on the Side
I am a teacher at heart. In my earlier years, I thought that meant being a subject matter expert who was perceived as the “sage on the stage.” Now, I know I have a greater impact when I serve as a “guide on the side” who coaches and encourages. Exhortation is like that, too. I used to think my greatest help to others should be words of wisdom—but often that’s not what we need most, especially those of us who have lived a few decades. We already know the facts. What we need is someone to stand beside us and urge us forward. Sometimes nothing is more valuable than a friend who will simply listen as we verbalize what we already know. We can all benefit from an exhorter who helps us see things from a godly perspective.
God Offers Parkaleo
This is what Christ offered His disciples. He walked with them. This is what the Holy Spirit does for us, dwelling within our hearts and being our constant Companion. God’s presence encourages, comforts, challenges, and gives hope.
People Offer Parakaleo
An exhorter may offer advice, encouragement, warnings, or even admonishment.
During some of the most difficult days in my life, I received a little encouragement, a little smile, a little understanding, or a little redirection…but those weren’t little at all. Those touch points were more influential by far than the writings of best-selling Christian authors or the sermons of famous preachers. Most of those people probably think they didn’t do anything to help because they didn’t fix the problem or teach me something new, but they offered me something greater — hope.
I Can Offer Parakaleo
In the past I served in highly visible ministries that directly impacted large numbers of people, but the last few years I’ve had difficulty finding my place of ministry. To be honest, when the pandemic hit and I couldn’t even share hugs, I felt a bit useless.
On a whim, I purchased an electronic cutting machine (Cricut). I started handcrafting cards and sending them to people. It takes me a few hours to select a design and then cut and assemble a card. While I whittle away at the crafting, I pray for the person. I often include a Bible verse. This card-making adventure enables me to offer encouragement and walk alongside others in their joys, their struggles, and their sorrows even when I can’t be physically close.
You Can Offer Parakaleo
So, if you, like me, sometimes think you have disappointed God because you don’t have a following of thousands, maybe this blog will be an encouragement to you. Let the Holy Spirit guide you to one person. Let that person know you see them and that you are standing with them. Urge them on – not in a pushy way but with utter confidence in victories to come.
When you engage, you may find yourself primarily being a listener. Or you may find yourself challenging a biblical misunderstanding. Other days you may simply offer comfort. Your exhortation may even be a direct answer to a desperately whispered prayer.
I thank God for my Dad’s parakaleo that enabled me to become a touch typist. This gift enables me to focus on the thoughts I want to share, not the location of the keys on the keyboard, even as I type these words today. Biblical exhortation also provides lifelong benefits. It leads to spiritual growth which frees people to focus on everlasting principles instead of lists of rules.
Isn’t it fantastic that God encourages us and then enables us to encourage others? If you want to see this dramatized, start watching The Chosen. Let’s celebrate the guides on the sides who help us grow. Let’s be a friend who is closer than a brother.
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus. I pray that your partnership with us in the faith may be effective in deepening your understanding of every good thing we share for the sake of Christ. Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people. (Philemon 1:4-7 ESV)
[i] https://biblereasons.com/encouraging-one-another, Fritz Chery, July 23, 2021
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